She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
