Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's shark week go big or go home
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize