is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
