well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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