this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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