Dual....:-)
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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