you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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