What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
