omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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