Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
