Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize