He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
