just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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