She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
