the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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