he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I died a long time ago.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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