I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
