I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
