I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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