i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize