Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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