I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
