I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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