Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Someone shit on the floor
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
