i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
