That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I party with great urgency now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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