Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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