xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
