I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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