Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
two words: eviction party
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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