Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
