he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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