my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize