Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
