Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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