All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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