is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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