Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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