We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
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I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
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oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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