I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
