yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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