And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
