Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
