He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
