Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
