Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
