I cut my penus on the lid.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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