wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
