Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?

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(210): View more from Texas

I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"

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(347): View more from New York

I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning

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(515): View more from Iowa

So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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(315): View more from New York

Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.

(1-315): View more from New York

Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands

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