Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

   Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe

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  (781): Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe http://tfl.nu/gdp0
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (799)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?

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  (804): Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no? http://tfl.nu/9ccj
  Replies (12) Good night (1043) Bad night (635)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop

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  (915): dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop http://tfl.nu/1szd
  Replies (22) Good night (1279) Bad night (4393)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

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  (415): Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok http://tfl.nu/rrpn
  Replies (37) Good night (7361) Bad night (1082)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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  (734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti
  Replies (14) Good night (4575) Bad night (856)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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  (512): My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context. http://tfl.nu/nfjx
  Replies (26) Good night (6383) Bad night (1256)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger

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  (717): He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger http://tfl.nu/u6xr
  Replies (22) Good night (1492) Bad night (5165)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  What's the big deal? you guys fuck

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times

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  (870): What's the big deal? you guys fuck (1-870): 3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times http://tfl.nu/e13u
  Replies (21) Good night (2980) Bad night (1739)
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  (310): View more from California

  She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me

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  (310): She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me http://tfl.nu/yht9
  Replies (7) Good night (3533) Bad night (973)
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  (585): View more from New York

  we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night

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  (585): we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night http://tfl.nu/lrrw
  Replies (18) Good night (2889) Bad night (814)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.

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  (708): I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure. http://tfl.nu/qn53
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (505)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg

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  (419): Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg http://tfl.nu/keiy
  Replies (1) Good night (1301) Bad night (426)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.

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  (215): your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed. http://tfl.nu/08fq
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (383)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?

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  (832): I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that? http://tfl.nu/175m
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (237)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!

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  (620): Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches! http://tfl.nu/pj02
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (202)

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