I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize