Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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