bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
