if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
