i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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