and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
