Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
