New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
