fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
