Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
