dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
