She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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