Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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