I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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