I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
