Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
