shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
